Soccer is a wonderful padless sport that has been underrated for many years. Though low scoring and slightly boring, there is some entertaining points to the game. One of which is the cleated feet flying everywhere. Inadvertently feet are going to hit balls (futbol)
Sometimes it doesn’t take a full hit to the balls to bring you to the ground. A small rock, flick of a finger, or just the pinky toe is only often needed to remind you how precious your little marble sack can be. I believe the final result of this pic was the full splits, three Hail Marys and a mouth full of blood.
4. Swiss Army Knife
The plan of this genital attack is from performed from behind. Though difficult to aim, a full rear assault will leave your enemy surprise, defenseless and apparently completely ridged. Be sure to lift the kickee at least 12 full inches of the ground for proper affect.
3. The Junior McGee
Often performed with the eyes closed and during a confused and crowded confrontation near the goal, this maneuver is a favorite of the younger soccer player. Though seldom intentional, it is usually a players first lesson to why we wear those silly cups, as well as how to look cool when in horrid pain in front of fellow players and their moms.
2. Hide the Adidas
A good kick to the nuts will sometimes result in the loss of a shoe, or in special circumstances, even a sock. A geometrical kick can offer loosening of the scrotum, disruption of the bowels and a sailor’s knot of the testicles. Though this kick is rare, it is truly amazing to watch one lodge themselves into another.
1. The Bypass
Sometimes retaliation can’t wait. We all don’t work on the same schedule and you can’t always wait for the ball to come back to your part of the field. Even if it does come your way you don’t know if you’ll be able to swing a foot at it. What do you do? The 5 finger yambag grab. With proper pressure and location you can almost completely simulate the experience for the user, without having to worry about you pulling a hamstring or blood on your cleats. Truly amazing to watch.
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