4th of July is just around the corner and as some of you might look at the day as commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence, others might be thinking of ways to get really drunk and blow things up. Since we assume most of you are relating with the latter, we’ve put together a collection of DON’Ts for this upcoming celebration. But remember if you ignore our warnings, be sure to film it so we can use it next year. Here are 10 videos of stupid people with fireworks.
10. Don’t Pass Out Around Fireworks – If you have a slumber party and you’re the first one to fall asleep you’re going to be welcomed with frozen underwear. If you pass out on the fourth of July with drunken friends, you’re going to be welcomed with a chain of fireworks wrapped around your leg.
9. Black Powder Vs Hair – When lighting fireworks, think ‘angles’. Such as, how can I light this firecracker at an angle so I don’t burn all my hair off. We bet this kid will never stand over a firecracker again.
8. Fire Hazard – This is why you don’t light fireworks off in a dry, brushy field. We’re sure your parents loved the bill the fire department sent their way.
7. Nice Gifts For Friends – It’s great to share your fireworks with friends. Especially when they aren’t expecting any or can’t do anything about them. Such as this poor sap just trying to get some alone time in the bathroom.
6. Wait For Them ALL To Explode – It’s important to remember how many you lite and how many exploded. There always seems to be that last stubborn one that likes to wait to go off at the last second, and in your face.
5. Firecracker Alarm Clock – Being asked to wake someone up is a big responsibility. They are putting their faith in you that you’ll wake them up properly and in time. So if you’re going to do it, do it right… with explosives.
4. Check Your Fuse – Remember, the longer the fuse the longer it will take for the flame to reach the firework. The shorter the fuse the more likely it is to go off in your face.
3. All Fun And Games Until Someone Loses An Eye – Who doesn’t love to battle like a valiant wizard on the 4th. Take a few Roman candles and pretend they’re magic missiles you’re hurling at your evil opponent. But remember, even Gandolf would wear protective eye wear when fighting at that close of range.
2. Don’t Over Do It – There is a limitation to how many fireworks you should light at once. Too many and you’re like these guys. From what we can tell, we are witnessing the World’s largest fireworks explosion. So many levels of awesomeness.
1. Firework Nutshot – If you dangle your goods above a firecracker you really can’t play innocent victim when the rocket gets lodged into your taint. Math is math and you’re sleeping on your side for a while.
How To Get Through Life Drunk
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