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POLICE ARE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR GORILLAS ARMED WITH POP TARTS
A St. Paul police officer is under investigation after entering Como Zoo (after hours) to feed gorillas a snack. Surveillance video captured the incident last January, around 2 a.m., when two zoo security guards snuck four to eight people into the zoo. Among the unauthorized visitors, was an off-duty St. Paul Cop. The Como Zoo isn’t sure if the gorillas actually ate the Pop-Tarts or not. Regardless, the gorillas appear to be doing just fine.
IS THIS THE WEIRDEST CATCH-22 EVER?
If you’re reading it then you already know how it ends, but if you need to read the book to know how to actually read the book can you actually read it in the first place? Our minds are about to explode.
SUMMER ISN’T OVER YET, STILL TIME FOR A 60 FOOT WATER SLIDE
Their parents are going to be gone for 10 days. What is there to do? How about building a 60 foot water slide in their back yard with a tiny pool 16 feet away from their landing? This is why you need to burn your Xbox.
STEVEN SEAGAL: LAWMAN
Everyday we tell ourselves that reality TV can’t get any dumber. Everyday we stand corrected. It’s a follow up to “Hard to Kill” called “Hard to Watch.”
ENDING A FIVE-YEAR-OLD’S CRIMINAL REIGN
Cop arrests a five-year-old twice: “A German police chief has come under fire after arresting a five-year-old girl for playing too roughly with his son – and then charging her for giving him the finger.”
UK KIDS CAN PORK AGAIN
Real Headline: “Video Blunder Lets Porn Be Sold Legally To Kids.” Us? Really Confused.
SCREW TEH ENVIRONMENT, WE HATE TUPPERWARE PARTIES!
Missouri legislature approves ban on Tupperware instead of styrofoam, gets an F in chemistry.
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