Halloween is just around the corner, and it’s time to start thinking about that costume. There are so many choices. You want to be unique and interesting, but you don’t want to offend your fellow trick-or-treaters. What costume goes too far? We’re here to help. Here are 10 Halloween Costumes Guaranteed To Get You A Beating.
10. Klu Klux Klan
Sure it’s the easiest costume in the world to make (next to a ghost) but sometimes a little effort pays off… and no one gets killed.
9. Bernie Madoff
Bernie Madoff is a dangerous costume. Suddenly you find yourself taking other kids’ candy and offering up the promise of better candy later. This, of course, will never happen. By Easter you’ll be in Time Out with no chocolate bunnies.
8. Mime
Seriously? Who doesn’t want to beat up a mime? The only people more annoying are clowns and magicians. If you don’t believe us, then dress up like David Blaine this year. Send us photos of your bruises.
7. BSoD
There is no love for the Blue Screen of Death. You should have worn a Mac. Other children will attempt to fix you by beating you over and over on your side, and then they will try to reboot your ass.
6. Nancy Grace
She will criticize each house, question all candy and convict anyone who receives more treats than her. Even her parents want to beat her judgmental butt.
5. An Emo
There is no way around it. We hate emos, especially since they dress for Halloween 365 days a year. Why should they have all the fun?
4. Bailed Out Bank
People might assume their tax dollars went into the making of your costume, and that all the candy you’ve collected is an undeserving bonus. That will cause a beating.
3. GAP Girl
The other children aren’t the ones you should fear. Be scared of the parents who will snap after their have to deal with your insincere greeting each time they open the door.
2. Abortion Doctor
While they are adorable. You don’t want the blood on your costume to be your own.
1. Punching Bag
Oddly enough this costume just might make people want to punch you. Weird.
Halloween is right around the corner. Check out this sexy costume guide and the 13 Funniest Halloween Videos.
Bill Doty wrote this post and is not prepared for Halloween.
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