Let’s face it. Considering you’re on the Internet, there is a good chance you’re an idiot. We’re just going off the math. It’s nothing personal. Look at the comments on your favorite video, status updates on Facebook or the Tweets about the latest celebrity death. The percentage of them were written by dumb people.
We have gathered a collection of videos, images and sites you need to see if you’re an idiot. There are 50 all in. Don’t worry. There’s not too much reading. We understand your lips get tired. Here are 50 Things You Need To See If You’re An Idiot.
50. This Is Why You Don’t Produce Your Own Music Videos
Yeah, your new webcam is neat, but it doesn’t mean you need to try it out. Let’s just say love is a noun, not a verb… or the other way around. There is no need to actually show love, online, for all to see. It just might turn out like this.
49. Still Think You Look Cool When You’re Drunk?
Well, you don’t. Here is what you look like. Actually, you probably have a little less grace.
48. That Didn’t Turn Out Like It Was Supposed To
If you’re an idiot, then you have had a series of events that haven’t gone as planned. Each usually involves fire, explosives, skateboards, glue, horses, bricks, cars and more fire.
If you’re fortunate enough, your mishaps end up on YouTube to document your moronic tales. We thank you.
47. You’re Too Dumb To Be On Facebook
Everyone is on Facebook these days. Unfortunately there is no mental testing prior to opening an account. Even the dumbest losers can join. Not only that, they can post anything they want. It’s sad. It’s also entertaining (until they post it on your wall.)
You never know who is reading your page.
Hey, idiots. Learn the different between wall posts and private messages.
Stop being an idiot.
46. Don’t Be A Baby When It Comes To Football, Or Anything Else
There is a point where you’re TOO into your team. There is also a point where you might want to consider still wearing diapers. Acting like this won’t get you laid this season, acting like this and posting it on the Internet won’t get you laid for life.
45. Don’t Protest Against Yourself
It’s not a bad idea to use spell check when you’re creating protest signs. If not, then you might just be writing them to speak out against yourself. Also, never wear a bandanna on your head. It looks silly.
44. Don’t Be The First One To Pass Out
Everyone loves to get drunk with friends. No matter how difficult it may be, you always want to make sure there is at least one guy drinking more than you.
43. Don’t Start A Fight With Someone More Badass
You and a friend decide to sucker punch a complete stranger and catch it on tape. Just make sure the guy you pick isn’t a professional boxer.
42. Skateboards And Video Cameras Always End In Pain
For your own protection, wear a helmet.
41. When Trying To Be Sexy, Don’t Forget About Safety
Before trying to make that sexy video for your boyfriend, you might want to make sure your bedroom is OSHA approved.
40. People From Santa Cruz Should Stay Out Of Politics
If you live in Santa Cruz, you really shouldn’t smoke pot and attempt to make the city better at the same time. If you really don’t have a knack for politics, stay out.
39. Don’t Drink And Text
This is one of the dumbest things you do while drunk. When you’re three sheets to the wind, it might be best to put your cell phone in a safe place. If not, you might end up on this site.
38. That 14-Year-Old Girl You’re Chatting With Is A 40-Year-Old Dude
The great thing about the Internet is you can be anyone you want. If you want to be a pilot, you can convince people you are a pilot. If you want to be a fireman, done. If you want to be a 14-year-old girl, you can get dozens of middle age men to bring you Mike’s Hard Lemonade. If you’re that guy bringing them the drink, then you might want to pay attention to the news truck across the street.
37. Make Sure Your Hobbies Don’t Secure Your Virginity
We all entertain ourselves in strange ways. Often we do it in the privacy of our own homes. But, if your hobby involves a jester outfit and the screaming of “lightning bolt” over and over, you might want to get a dog instead. Girls like them.
36. You’re Not Drunk, You’re Stupid
You’re swerving all over the road, and the cops have pulled you over. The first thing to remember is, just admit it and take your nap in the drunk tank.
35. Stop Chatting As If You Are A 13-Year-Old Girl
When we tell you we can’t wait until lunch, do not respond with LOL. When you start to tell us a story about your weekend, do not start off with OMG. When you type in ROTFLMAO and you’re really not below your desk holding your stomach, then we want to kick your ass. If you’re too lazy to type real words, then you’re too stupid for technology. Get on your rotary phone and give us a call.
34. Think Before You Speak
When trying to prove your point, it helps to do some research to back up your claim. It also helps to have more than a third grade education.
33. Game Shows Are For Smart People, Not You
If you think you’re smarter than a fifth grader, you’re not. You are probably not much smarter than the neighbor’s dog. Don’t go on national television.
32. If Your Friends Are Filming You Attempting A Stunt, It’s Because They Don’t Think You Can Do it
If something is presented to you in a “double dog dare” then you might want to reconsider the attempt.
31. It’s Not Over Until It’s Over
No one likes showboating. You might want to wait to celebrate until after you actually win.
30. Crime Doesn’t Pay
It doesn’t pay, unless you’re trying to win “America’s Funniest Home Videos.”
29. Don’t Make Discount Amusement Park Attractions
Your parents won’t take you to Disneyland. Concede that you won’t ride anything this year, and don’t attempt to construct your own in your backyard.
28. Your Car Is Your Enemy
You’re overestimating your cruise control. It doesn’t have a ghost riding button.
27. Just Because Your Computer Has Auto-Tune, Doesn’t Mean You Should Use it
The world already has one too many T-Pains. You’re not helping the problem.
26. Not Everyone Can Talk About The Weather
There are somethings you are good at (mouth breathing, eating, sleeping while mouth breather) and other things you should just stay away from, such as everything else. When someone gives you the opportunity to give the weather on the local news, you might just want to decline.
25. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
You’ve made sure everything is in place. You have the ring, the stadium is on board, the cameramen are standing by. Oops, you forgot to actually check to see if your girlfriend wants to spend the rest of her life with an idiot.
24. Trap Door Might Not Be The Best Place To Keep Your Change
It’s hard to fault the idiot who fell down the hole. It’s not hard to fault the idiot who thought that was a good place to put a trap door.
23. When They Say “Don’t Attempt This At Home,” You Might Want To Listen
Jumping a motorcycle isn’t for everyone, especially your mom.
22. Stop Being A Douchebag
Listen, if you’re a douche, you know it. We are begging you to stop. STOP TANNING! You’re killing the planet… and our eyes.
21. Do Stunts In Your Crappy Toyota, Not Mom’s BMW
What could go wrong? THIS.
20. Don’t Turn Your Back In An Argument
Especially, if he’s higher than you are on the bleachers.
19. “The Jerry Springer Show” Is Not The Place To Learn Things About Your Lover
When that special person in your life says they want to tell you something important, but they want to do it on live television, you might want to decline on the invitation.
18. Don’t Piss Off The Only Person Who Will Give You Sex
You don’t realize it (due to the fact that you’re a moron), but you’re very lucky that anyone will have sex with you.
17. You Should Just Shop Online
If you’re not smart enough to navigate yourself out of an office supply store, you just might want to shop online.
16. You Might Be Too Dumb To Get A Tattoo
There is a fine line between a tattoo that will make you cooler, and one that will completely shut down your social life.
15. Are You THAT guy?
Are you the guy no one likes to work with? If you are, you would probably be clueless to the fact. Well, until your coworkers can’t take it anymore, and react like these people.
14. Senator Ted Stevens And His Series of Tubes
Is your Internet getting all tangled up with other Internets? That’s because the Internet is a series of tubes. If you don’t understand that, then you shouldn’t be on the Internet. Just like Senator Ted Stevens as he is talking about the Net Neutrality bill that he, and you, are too dumb to understand.
13. Are You An Excellent Driver?
Well, you’re probably not. In fact, you’re probably lucky to make it out of your driveway.
12. You’re A Super Freakout
Do you make big deals out of little things? Of course, by big deals we mean sticking remote controls up your butt while threatening to run away.
11. Are You A Freak Of Nature?
Do you spend your days taking odd pictures of yourself and putting them on the Internet? Well, then Cliff Yablonski has probably picked on you. The folks at Something Awful spend their days looking for morons like you to put on their site.
10. No Matter How Talented You Are, Keep It In Your Shower
We sing everyday while driving to work. The second we’re in our parking space, the show ends and it’s business time. Get on board.
9. When Reading Instructions, Make Sure They Are In Your Language
Sure, you want to look good, but it’s not like you can just hit buttons and hope for the best.
8. See All Those Emergency Vehicles?
They aren’t there for a picnic. You might want to pay a little more attention.
7. A Car Wash Is Your Friend
You put your money in, and it does the rest. How hard is that?
6. Is There A Camera On You? You Might Want To Rethink This
You’re doing something really dumb, and someone is filming you. We smell hits on YouTube.
5. Trust No One
Everyone is out to get everyone. Lock your doors, lock your room, lock your computer. Trust no one.
4. Who Is A Bigger Idiot, The Cops Or The Guy They Are Arresting?
One way you can get away from the cops is to distract them with crazy. You have plenty of crazy.
3. Wrap It Up Before Anyone Has To Hear You Rap
We would run eight miles to get away from this rap competition. The person who said you had mad beats should be beaten.
2. Welcome To The FAIL Pic
If you have seen yourself on the FAIL Blog, you are a hero amongst morons. To commit a moronic stunt that made it to film, then to Photoshop will get you in the Idiot Hall Of Fame. You should be proud. Your mother should not.
1. No Matter How Stupid You Are, There Will Always Be A Bigger Idiot
So you’ve check out this list, and you are worried that you related too much. Don’t worry, there will always be someone who is more of an idiot. Try not to accidentally stab yourself in the eye on the way out the door.
For more idiotic posts check out 15 Ridiculous Fans Rushing The Field and 20 Funniest Undie Run Photos.
Posted by Bill Doty, who knows an idiot he sees one.
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